Often the couples who come in to see me are already committed to making the relationship work, they just need help getting back on track. Some couples come in because they have been having problems and are not sure they are going to stay together. They feel like they have grown apart and are dealing with difficult life issues. Sometimes they come because of infidelity.

They haven’t been able to figure out why it is not working. They still believe there is something worth saving, but they need help.

There are no guarantees for success, but I will commit to helping both individuals fully examine the relationship and  help identify the problems that have caused conflict and stress in the relationship.

I don’t take sides. I don’t make judgements. I work hard to make certain that you feel heard and affirmed. I can be empathetic, compassionate and still be tough and realistic when necessary. Together, our goal is to figure out what is best for everyone, as well as the couple. (Read More)

What should you expect in my sessions? The first thing I want you to know is that as your couple’s therapist, I am not here to provide individual therapy. I represent the relationship. We will talk about individual concerns, needs and desires, but if one of you still has individual work unfinished, I will refer you to someone who can work with you outside of our work together.

I will ask each of you to tell me in your words, what you think the problems is. Sometimes the problem is straightforward, but often what couples come in to see me about is not the real problem. My job is to help clear away all noise on the surface to help both of you get to those things that are putting a strain on your relationship.

It is not uncommon for couples to come in saying “we need help communicating.” Usually they are right, but for me to help, we need to look at why it’s not working. Once we can clarify and better understand the problem, I can help provide the tools and language to help address even the toughest issues in a non-threatening and healthy way.

All couples have a dance. They have patterns of acting and responding to each other that become so ingrained, they don’t recognize them. We will identify the patterns, look at what is working and what is not and make changes that can help you not feel stuck.

Experts have uncovered a list of common problems that are known to be indicators of serious problems in relationships. By bringing awareness to thoughts and behaviors that are derailing your relationship, we can attempt to make changes that are good for the relationship.

There is no one way or one model for couples in therapy. I will ask what  your goals are for out time together and then I will use my training and expertise to help you reach those goals.